Fallon's Favorites
New member
There's nearly nothing in the world that grates on me more seriously than being in the presence of a busty dowager matron who is an authority on simply everything and is lecturing at highest decibel on whatever. I had the occasion to see and hear such a person shortly ago and then saw her take a header into total embarrassment right afterward - and it was just too funny for words.
I was standing in line at the Wal-Mart pharmacy and right in front of me was an older couple - they called each other by name several times - Richard and his dear wife, Marion. As we stood there waiting a very nice-looking young Amish family came past - the couple in full Amish dress, he with a full Amish-style beard and the requisite suspenders and she in her pretty little white hat and ankle-length, lavendar dress and their little boy, dressed like his father and both father and son wearing the Amish-style flat straw hats. Marion launched, at full voice, into a rant about how "the Amish never, ever inhabit places like Wal-Mart and what in the world were these people doing there? Richard assured her that apparently, they do come to Wal-Mart, for there they were! She then, still in high dudgeon, wondered where they left their horse and buggy in the parking lot. Again, Richard tried to shush her up and told her that horses and buggys couldn't travel on interstate highways and they probably drove to Wal-Mart. Again, she launched into her stentorian rant that the Amish NEVER drive cars - it's forbidden. They may occasionally ride in vehicles but NEVER own or drive them! And she certainly would know more than Richard did, as her friend lives in Bucks County, PA! SHE knows and Richard definitely doesn't!
I stood back and mercifully kept my big mouth shut. As luck would have it, we all happened to leave the building at the same time. The Amish family was leading the way into the parking lot, then Richard and Marion and finally me, bringing up the rear. When the young Amish family hopped into the biggest, whitest Cadilac Escalade SUV I ever saw and pulled away, Richard nudged his wife and said, "Well there you go Marion, there's his buggy and all 486 of his horses!" To save both Marion and myself from further embarrassment I quickly got in my car before I just dissolved into laughter! It was just too funny and Marion didn't have a single word to say! Her face was a study, though.............
I was standing in line at the Wal-Mart pharmacy and right in front of me was an older couple - they called each other by name several times - Richard and his dear wife, Marion. As we stood there waiting a very nice-looking young Amish family came past - the couple in full Amish dress, he with a full Amish-style beard and the requisite suspenders and she in her pretty little white hat and ankle-length, lavendar dress and their little boy, dressed like his father and both father and son wearing the Amish-style flat straw hats. Marion launched, at full voice, into a rant about how "the Amish never, ever inhabit places like Wal-Mart and what in the world were these people doing there? Richard assured her that apparently, they do come to Wal-Mart, for there they were! She then, still in high dudgeon, wondered where they left their horse and buggy in the parking lot. Again, Richard tried to shush her up and told her that horses and buggys couldn't travel on interstate highways and they probably drove to Wal-Mart. Again, she launched into her stentorian rant that the Amish NEVER drive cars - it's forbidden. They may occasionally ride in vehicles but NEVER own or drive them! And she certainly would know more than Richard did, as her friend lives in Bucks County, PA! SHE knows and Richard definitely doesn't!
I stood back and mercifully kept my big mouth shut. As luck would have it, we all happened to leave the building at the same time. The Amish family was leading the way into the parking lot, then Richard and Marion and finally me, bringing up the rear. When the young Amish family hopped into the biggest, whitest Cadilac Escalade SUV I ever saw and pulled away, Richard nudged his wife and said, "Well there you go Marion, there's his buggy and all 486 of his horses!" To save both Marion and myself from further embarrassment I quickly got in my car before I just dissolved into laughter! It was just too funny and Marion didn't have a single word to say! Her face was a study, though.............