Deadly Sushi
Formerly The Giant Mojito
Anyone here have or had verbal, physical or/and mentally abusive families?
Yeah, grew up with a drunk that “fathered” me from his loins and had it fixed in his mind that children were punching bags and foot stools. He made me hold my Mom’s 45 albums (he hated my Mom’s music) in my hand at a distance of 200 feet and then shot them out of my hand with a 22. He was a real jewel.
The only time me and my brother got a break was when he was beating on Mom.
He died on the job (welding accident) when I was 8 or so, and I never shed a tear.
Never abuse from family members, but plenty of verbal abuse from bosses and a former significant other, back when I was young and dumber. Pretty sad when someone who you love and claims she loves ya back treats you like a second class citizen.
Now that I'm older, I've adopted the attitude: I'm 48 years old and I'm at the point of my life where I don't have to take no shit from anybody, and I won't!
My Mom was solid gold, still is. Dad sobered up 34 years ago, left us 18 months after he did. Long story, that.
Sass, I ever meet your uncle I'll hurt him.
My father was an alcoholic who was mostly verbally abusive, but occasionally would get physical. Nothing I ever did ever measured up to his unvoiced expectations, and he said I'd never amount to anything, so I entered the Air Force at 19 just to get out of that environment.
They say what doesn't kill you will toughen you up, and I believe that to a degree. I resolved to make something of myself regardless of what he said or thought, and when he would come around after I was married and tell me that this or that was not done right, I would just tell him that it was the work of a worthless underachiever, so what the hell do you expect? He would agree.
After Mom died in 87 he was pretty much to himself. I was civil to him and would invite him to holiday celebrations on the condition that if he ever told any of my kids that they were worthless or lazy or would not amount t o anything, that that would be the last time he would see them.
He died in 94 and sadly there were not any tears. I actually felt pity for him because his father was the same way, and they never had any positive role models in their lives. I never heard I love you from him, because I don't think he loved himself enough to be able to give love back. It's really quite sad looking back at the dysfunctional family we had, but three brothers and me all are direct opposites of our father and have very normal and loving families. One brother is the same as our father, and we really don't have much to do with him except at the holidays. He's 55 and still tells the rest of us that we're stupid or lazy or not as smart as him. We just smile when he starts his tirades and walk away from him. We learned that walking away pisses him off more than if we argue with him, so we all get up and leave the room at the same time. We hear him mumble to his wife that we're all ass holes and that someday we'll need him and he'll tell us to go to hell when the time comes. It just makes us tougher.
I'd say to do what it takes to get out of that environment. Where there's a will, there's a way. He's never going to change, so it's up to you to change venues. If you want it bad enough, you'll make it happen.