I need some help

Angie

Angie

New member
I am reaching out to my friends....I need some help.

My husband and I (Joe) live paycheck to paycheck..and even then we don't really make it.

He had surgery on 5/27. Rectal Prolapse. His intestines have been coming out of his anus for 4.5 years...and he's just been dealing with it because we can't afford for him to take the time off work...so, for the last 4.5 yrs he has had to take a shower anytime after he had to go to the bathroom, to put things back in place.

He is off for 6-8 weeks...with no income. And he makes more than me. And we have to pay child support out of his checks.

I'm trying to get some charity assistance, locally. I have an appointment on Friday with Helping Hands, and another one on Monday with Salvation Army. I don't have enough money to pay rent....and I don't know what to do.

Does anyone know of other charities? We don't qualify for any government assistance. I've tried food stamps, general assistance, hacap...no one can help....So...I'm reaching for other ways....
 
TexasGirl

TexasGirl

The Invisible
Super Site Supporter
angie, contact your local churches. Also call your chamber of commerce and see if they can give you some names.
You're in my prayers girl!!
 
Mama

Mama

Queen of Cornbread
Site Supporter
Angel Food Ministries is a wonderful organization that can help with food. There is no qualifying and no paperwork to fill out. You can get a box of food that is supposed to be able to feed a family of four for a week for $30. Hope this helps. You'll be in our prayers.

You may also want to try The United Way. Just dial 211.
 
Angie

Angie

New member
United way can't help, I tried that. My church is trying to help, but it is very small and is already under budget.
 
Mama

Mama

Queen of Cornbread
Site Supporter
Have you contacted your landlord, insurance company, car loan people and utilities and told them what has happened? Surely they would be willing to work with you if it's only going to be 6 to 8 weeks. I know that some of the utility companies here have funds available for people in need.
 
Angie

Angie

New member
I don't think we can open child support up....well, we could but it might end up making us pay more....I haven't talked to the utilities to see if they have anything...I will do that though!
 
Tickle Me Elmo

Tickle Me Elmo

New member
Angie said:
Yes...we don't qualify for anything. We have food....we just need help with rent, utilities, car payments, insurance, child support....you know...STUFF.
Click to expand...

Actually, you may have food but, in time, that may become a challenge, too, which is where the Angel Food Ministries will help.

You may have to reshuffle your resources, so the money that goes for food may have to go elsewhere. Here's where Angel Food comes in.

We have that service in our area and the food is plentiful and reasonably good.

Regrouping may be one of your best defenses in this situation.
 
Maverick2272

Maverick2272

Stewed Monkey
Super Site Supporter
The only real advice I can give is to take whatever you can get, even if it is not what you think you need. The less you spend in one area, the more there is for other areas. The only other advice I can give is for you to stay in contact with everyone thru this, from the landlord to the utility companies, etc. Avoiding them can actually make it worse in the long run.
Any chance the recipient of the child support would give ya a break for awhile? I know here under hardships they will give the person a break, they just have to make up for it later by adding extra until caught up.
Is your church independent or part of a larger organization? If it is part of a larger organization can they go to them and 'pass the plate around'? And what about your pastor talking to other pastors in the community and asking them to pass the plate around with their members for you?
Good luck and we will put you in our prayers.
 
Angie

Angie

New member
Maverick2272 said:
The only real advice I can give is to take whatever you can get, even if it is not what you think you need. The less you spend in one area, the more there is for other areas. The only other advice I can give is for you to stay in contact with everyone thru this, from the landlord to the utility companies, etc. Avoiding them can actually make it worse in the long run.
Any chance the recipient of the child support would give ya a break for awhile? I know here under hardships they will give the person a break, they just have to make up for it later by adding extra until caught up.
Is your church independent or part of a larger organization? If it is part of a larger organization can they go to them and 'pass the plate around'? And what about your pastor talking to other pastors in the community and asking them to pass the plate around with their members for you?
Good luck and we will put you in our prayers.
Click to expand...

Child support..no break...my stepdaughter's mom is a female dog...ya know? She wont help, it would make things worse. Our church is small..Pastor Jeff is helping as much as he can, he's the one that has been giving us all the resources on where to go, etc. He came up and stayed with us during Joe's surgery, visited Joe while he was in the hospital, prayed for him during last Sunday's service...Joe isn't even a member, it's just me and actually I'm not a member yet, my transfer is in progress. Joe isn't much of a believer....

~~Thanks everyone for all your advice, well wishes, support and most importantly, prayers.... I'll keep you posted!!!!!!!~~:wub:
 
Angie

Angie

New member
Well, Crossroads Mission is going to pay a car payment for us and give me a $50 gas card!
 
TexasGirl

TexasGirl

The Invisible
Super Site Supporter
that's great, Angie. More help will come. GOD never closes a door without opening another. You have to believe that.
 
Mama

Mama

Queen of Cornbread
Site Supporter
That's so good to hear Angie! I, for one, will be continuing to pray for you and your family.
 
dansdiamond

dansdiamond

Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
I don't know about Iowa- But in Ca. Our Power Company (PG&E)works with Salvation Army. They will Pay all the back Utility Bills once. (If over 3 Months) Than 1 time every year after.
Actually Salvation Army might be a help. You do not have to be a member of the Catholic Church to ask for help from Catholic Charities. They will pay the rent. One more biggie- Was Joe in The Armed Services?
If so Swords to Plowshares.
Like everyone else here. Your in our Prayers.

images

 
Angie

Angie

New member
Update....

On Wednesday we took Joe to the Dr office...he looked like death warmed over. Down to 108 lbs. I've never seen him so bad...He was pooping but had a lump near his incision. Dr felt it, thought it might be an abscess. Joe got a morphine shot for pain, and to the hospital we went for blood work and a CT scan. Results came back and dehydration, his bowels aren't absorbing liquids, and a bowel obstruction.

He's been on Miralax since then and still has the obstruction. He was on a liquid diet but now is on soft foods too. He is having bowel movements, but the obstruction is still their (weird...need to ask the Dr about that today).

As for financial assistance, not a whole lot. One car loan will be paid, and a $50 gas card, both from Cross Roads mission. $100 towards rent from Salvation Army if we can get the landlord to talk to them...he is old and doesn't understand..lives in Florida as well.

Here's a run down...my checks, bimonthly, are $670. Rent is $600...car payments total $500...Child support is $300, car insurance is $235...plus we pay all utilities, gas food, dog food, personal hygiene... So you see, my checks only cover rent, car payments and a little left over towards child support...there's more for bills too...tons of past medical, my stepdaughter's insurance, student loans...3 credit cards ($1000 total balance, but still $$ I don't have)...

I need to go down to the mission tonight after work to get some food. I don't know what to do. I think Joe needs to go back to the Dr today because he still has pain and his mass (bowel obstruction). He can't stand up straight without the pain.

I'm not sure what to do.....
 
TxsChef

TxsChef

New member
Do either of you have health insurance through your job? If so check your policy and see if you have any kind of temporary disability coverage. Don't call and ask, read and be sure. Sometimes you don't get the correct answer when asking about coverages.
Your utility companies can tell you what organization in your area helps with utilities. Most of the agencies require you to have a cut off notice before they will pay.
The courts can help with the child support. Ask for a hearing before the judge and explain what is going on. 9 times out of 10, they will temporarily reduce the payments, occasionally they will increase at a later date to make up the difference. If he is not working now and you are missing work to care for him and get him to appointments that surely will qualify for at least a temporary decrease.
Also, the hospital and physicians should have a list of agencies that provide help in your area. Especially the hospitals. Churches and Salvation Army should also give you a list of available help.
If your income is all you have then you should qualify for food stamps, at least. Once you qualify for food stamps, most phone companies and electric have a reduced rate program you can enroll in, but you have to receive some kind of assistance to qualify.
Meals-On-Wheels can also provide some meals weekly and that will save you some grocery expense.
Rent is covered by what ever local agency you have that works through United Way. Calling United Way direct will get you no where.
The Salvation Army can provide gas cards, as well as some churches. Even those you are not a member of with larger congregations help out.
A couple of years ago I was a volunteer who had to track down resources for people in the same situation as you. It can take a while, but you have to be persistent. Keep making those calls and don't let up!! Fill out all the applications until you do get the help you need. It's tiring and frustrating, but it is about the only way.
When my ex was diagnosed with cancer, I forgave child support payments. He is the father of my children and I could not see causing any further problems. I took him to some appointments, helped with bills, groceries, etc. It's just the humane thing to do. Sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment.
I'll be praying for something good for you and your DH!
 
Angie

Angie

New member
TxsChef said:
Do either of you have health insurance through your job? If so check your policy and see if you have any kind of temporary disability coverage. Don't call and ask, read and be sure. Sometimes you don't get the correct answer when asking about coverages.
Your utility companies can tell you what organization in your area helps with utilities. Most of the agencies require you to have a cut off notice before they will pay.
The courts can help with the child support. Ask for a hearing before the judge and explain what is going on. 9 times out of 10, they will temporarily reduce the payments, occasionally they will increase at a later date to make up the difference. If he is not working now and you are missing work to care for him and get him to appointments that surely will qualify for at least a temporary decrease.
Also, the hospital and physicians should have a list of agencies that provide help in your area. Especially the hospitals. Churches and Salvation Army should also give you a list of available help.
If your income is all you have then you should qualify for food stamps, at least. Once you qualify for food stamps, most phone companies and electric have a reduced rate program you can enroll in, but you have to receive some kind of assistance to qualify.
Meals-On-Wheels can also provide some meals weekly and that will save you some grocery expense.
Rent is covered by what ever local agency you have that works through United Way. Calling United Way direct will get you no where.
The Salvation Army can provide gas cards, as well as some churches. Even those you are not a member of with larger congregations help out.
A couple of years ago I was a volunteer who had to track down resources for people in the same situation as you. It can take a while, but you have to be persistent. Keep making those calls and don't let up!! Fill out all the applications until you do get the help you need. It's tiring and frustrating, but it is about the only way.
When my ex was diagnosed with cancer, I forgave child support payments. He is the father of my children and I could not see causing any further problems. I took him to some appointments, helped with bills, groceries, etc. It's just the humane thing to do. Sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment.
I'll be praying for something good for you and your DH!
Click to expand...

Believe it or not, we don't qualify for food stamps, I already tried. I get insurance through my work but only I'm covered for short term disability..I've already check into it.

I'll going to see about another organization today.... I'll keep you all posted. And yes..the mother of my step daughter does need an attitude adjustment. They have a nice home, nice cars, camper, just got new stainless steel appliances, and a hot tub....and here we are.....
 
TexasGirl

TexasGirl

The Invisible
Super Site Supporter
I know it seems that the light at the end of the tunnel is out, but, it's going to get brighter for you, Angie, just hold on to faith and know it will get better!!

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
 
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