thought i would share a little...

life in our family has been a little drama filled as of late...

here's how it all started....

my brother & soon to be exSIL are going through a divorce..

two weeks ago, my brother in i were suppose to start working in West Palm,FL. we were to be there for about 17 days. the night before we were to go to work, we get a call that my nephew is in Oregon's DHS protective custody.

apparently my SIL decided to off herself by smashing the SUV into a tree head-on with my nephew in the car. He was not wearing any restraints and flew to the front of the SUV.Thank god for airbags.Nobody was hurt just a little cut on my nephew.BUT boy do i want to hurt my SIL.

This all happened on the 29th of December and we didnt find out about it for 2 weeks after that.X-SIL told DHS that my bro had no contact with his son or her and was no part of his life.She also said that she didnt know where to get ahold of bro..

We think she thought she would be able to get him back without us finding out.She was wrong.....

Sooooo...off to Oregon we drive.. The drama continues...

We get to Oregon DHS,we have to go to court because she told DHS that my brother was a drug addict & other crap that was untrue. and since there is no custody order they dont know if the will give us my nephew back.

we wait 3 days before they can see my bro...make him take a pee test which he passes...interview him,watch him interact with my nephew...then make us wait more time for a court hearing...which was on wednesday...

wednesday comes, the judge says to DHS that they have no legal right to hold my nephew because he is not a resident of Oregon because my sil took him from washington state and disappeared to here(OR)...BUT since there is no custody order we have to go to washington state where there from(200+miles away) to get a divorce petition as well as a protection order since she tried to kill herself...

luckily there is someone in the courthouse we were going to help us with filling out the paperwork for free...but she is only in on thursdays.. we leave early thursday morning, arrive to the courthouse... get to the courthouse, the lady who is suppose to help us is not in for the day..she had her own family emergency(poor ladies child ended up in intensive care...)

Now what??lol

find a lawyer...no luck.... talk to some friends, family friend works as a clerk at the courthouse...she fills out the paperwork...we drive to the courthouse to drop off papers... another clerk said we really should have a lawyer look at the papers and file them...come back in the morning and see if any of lawyers will help out...

find a lawyer..wrong kind of lawyer but he knows the best family lawyer in the county...we cant afford her... he(the other lawyer) begs her..just look at this case and all the details...give him 20 minutes...after you hear him,you will help him...if you want him to pay for your 20 minutes he will...she tells him to tell us to come NOW...

we get the best lawyer for free...she files the paper work..the judge signs the papers...all legal

we then drive back to portland oregon...now we wait until monday morning at 8:30am to give the judge the papers...And my nephew will be coming home with us by the afternoon..

sorry such a long message but i had to vent..there is still more to this story but you get the idea now...lol

Bams, that it is such a sad story. It also does not seem right that with all the court & paperwork stuff holding up the care of your nephew as well.

Just goes to show that when you got problems, there's always someone whose problems are worse than yours. My hat's off to you for hanging in there with your brother through all the problems. Sounds like he's going to have his hands full with the divorce as well. He's lucky to have you there for him, and it's great he gets his son back.

I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles, Jeff! What a mess, but it sounds as if it will be okay for your bro and nephew. You are a good brother!

How old is the boy?

Lee

OMG, Jeff, what a friggin' nightmare. Your brother is lucky to have such a strong family member. You will all get through this, just takes pain and time. I'm behind you all the way and I wish there was some way I could be of help.

I hate that you have to wait until Monday to get Sebastian, but, you know now that you WILL have him. I am really happy for you, Dwayne and Sebastian!! Q, I think he is 7.

Hang in there Bams, it will get better I'm sure.

Jeff - All I can say is you are a good man. Should I get in trouble, I would consider myself lucky to have someone like you in my corner.

Sorry for all the grief that you went through and likely will still have to go through.

Man Oh Man, Prayers and good vibes definately being sent to you guys! Thank God your nephew wasn't harmed much more than he was, give hime a huge hug for all of us!
Prayers will continue to come untill all of this is behind you guys! Sounds like many have been answered already...may they not stop!!

i'll say a decade of the rosary that everything goes ok on monday, bam.

thank god your family is strong and sticks together. your nephew will need that in the future.

Big Gold Stars are going in your Life Book, Bam! Glad it sounds like it all
will work out for the better.

Hang in there, it all gets better. Good on you for helping out.

Oh, Bams, this just makes me sick to read. As horrible as this all is for your brother and you, at the center of it is a little boy who is in the care of strangers while officials shuffle papers around!

Have they let your brother see his son? They have no right to keep him from seeing him - regardless of what your SIL has said about him. As long as your brother is the father listed on Sebastian's birth certificate and he has never been convicted of harming or neglecting his son and he is not on probation for something else, he has a legal right to him. Especially since there is no custody agreement. I would suggest that he call Legal Aid. An attorney working on behalf of your brother should be able to cut through the crap to get the child in your brother's temporary custody while all the legal stuff is being sorted out.

I'll be praying for all of you. Please keep us updated.

That's really tough. You are a good brother!

I am so sorry, Bams. I had people in here talking to me while I was reading your post. (Always a bad idea. LOL) I see that you and your brother have done everything and Sebastian will be with you by Monday afternoon. Let me just say - bravo to both of you for being tenacious in your efforts to get Sebastian home. It just makes me sad to think about the countless children unjustly "trapped" in the system who's relatives don't have the smarts or the resources to dig through the red tape.

I am not anti-CPS. I was a foster parent for 4 years and saw many children who's lives were literally saved by being taken into care. But there are also many, many children like your nephew who were used as pawns by one parent to punish the other parent. CPS is not set up properly to get the child swiftly back into the care of family.

Hang in there, sweetie pie. Everything will work out in the end. As long as your nephew is safe and sound and with you and your brother...that is all that matters. G-d bless you!

Thanks for all the warm wishes

Sebastian is my only nephew,he will be 7 in May... He has been my best little buddy since he was born..

You too need to love him to bits (as you no doubt do already) and help put the memories in their proper place and he is not traumatised for too long.

Update..

Oregon DHS are being a$$es.... they are fighting us even though both judges & courts in Oregon and Washington have given my brother custody...The lawyer told us not to worry as we will have Sebastian by Wednesday at 2pm

DHS wants another hearing...no idea why as the judge has already told them that if he gets all the proper paper work(which we have) that Sebastian will come home

Wow, a nightmare that just keeps on going, huh, Jeff?

It will all be okay. You have all of us helping you!

Lee

Oh these things make me really cross, social workers so often seem to fight when there is no need and not fight when they do really need to.

Miniman said:

Oh these things make me really cross, social workers so often seem to fight when there is no need and not fight when they do really need to.

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yah these particular ones are not on my high list of respected people...

it would be different if they had any reason for this.i would be the first to say to them "Good job" if they were actually doing a good job. But what really irks me is when you do everything that they ask and they still give you a hard time.

the whole situation here is that they are not use to a parent that is willing and does everything he says he will. They deal with parents that say and do different things. This time a caring loving parent has done everything right.

they cant find my brothers name in the "system" so they know nothing about him and that ticks them off.

i appreciate and thank everyone for their prayers & good wishes. it has helped us out to see some friendly words.

In my job, I've had some horrible experiences with childrens' services in Oregon. I'm sorry you've had to go through their BS. I hope thinks are resolved soon.

Oh, Bams, this breaks my heart. I was looking last night for you to tell us that Sebastian is safe at home with you and your brother! All I can say is, try not to let this crap discourage you too much. After you get him home, you can (and should) begin a letter writing campaign so that maybe this won't happen to others. Until then, keep your eye on the prize and know that you have all of our prayers that he will be home soon. Hugs to all of you.

Fisher's Mom said:

After you get him home, you can (and should) begin a letter writing campaign so that maybe this won't happen to others.

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I get, probably, 80% of my grant funds from the Oregon State government and I work with several offices. I've never experienced such arrogance and contempt than with Oregon State. Their decisions seem callous and politically motivated, they don't listen to their constituents or service providers and too many are interested only in building their little empires. I cringe at the amount of time that I and my peers spend trying to influence the crap that spills out of Salem ... with no reward or change in sight.

I really feel for Bams, but any letter writing would be a waste of ink. I really don't think they care.

This is sad, vyapti, but it doesn't surprise me. Texas had similar problems up until 15 or 20 years ago, but a lot of very negative media attention precipitated a major upheaval in the system. It's much better now, but still needs a lot of improvement.

UPDATE UPDATE

Bassy is home with us!!! No more drama at least when it comes to this situation in Oregon.

Thanks for all the support and prayers.You guys are the best.

This is the best news ever, Bams!!!!! I have worried about that little guy so much since you told us what was happening. He is so close in age to my Fisher that it really broke my heart. Is he doing OK? Was he in a good foster home setting while he was gone? Give him a huge hug and kiss from a lady in Texas who loves him.

yes Sebastian is doing awesome...he is laughing,singing and joking around. he is looking forward to going back to san diego

he was in a great home while away, she was a grandmother and loved kids.

to all who gave prayers and kind words..i ran out of karma but just letting everybody know our family really appreciates everything.

+Karma for all