just in case

ChowderMan

Pizza Chef
Super Site Supporter
you want to be up-to-snuff on such stuff, here’s the latest tips, for your educational aggrandizement:

1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
2000 mockingbirds = two kilo mockingbirds
10 cards = 1 DecaCard
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
453.6 Graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
 

ChowderMan

Pizza Chef
Super Site Supporter
NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
physicists. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no
electrons or protons, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111
assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These
312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the
continuous exchange of a meson like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact
with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
caused one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would
normally occur in less than one second.

Administratium has a normal half life of approximately 3 years, at which
time it does not actually decay, but instead, undergoes a reorganization
in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons
exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic weight
actually increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs
naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points
such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities, and
can actually be found in the newest, best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level
of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it
is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how
Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but
results to date are not promising.
 
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