question .... mostly for the mods ..
- Thread starter Love2"Q"
- Start date
Speaking as a mod myself (but not on this forum)..
Report the post first.
Send a mod a PM.
It also helps to give neg reps at times, however.. that sets some people off, almost like you've tried to take away their birthday or something.
OMG! That so cracked me up for some reason! Awesome off-the-cuff little saying. Love it!
Biskit’s got a point. It’s rarely ever worth it on an active forum to go off in public.
People are smart, and they know how to skirt the rules; but they also know how to say things to get to you and hurt you without actually breaking a rule.
Say you make a post about how you accidentally ran over the neighbor’s cat, and you feel horrible about it. It’s personal.
Then a few month’s later you’re in a thread and post something about an idiot in traffic that didn’t pay attention cause they were on their cell phone and they ran you off the road. You nearly cracked your car in the ditch over this, you’re scared and mad.
BUT….this little twerp comes along and says something like “Yeah, I agree, there are too many idiots that don’t pay attention when they are driving and everything from small cats to human beings pay the price”.
HAH! No rules broken.
Not one forum rule.
But they just slammed the heck out of you, and YOU know it, and anyone that ever read and remembers that thread about you and the neighbor’s cat knows it.
Now you’re pissed, and you go off…….yet, there are 20 other members on the board that never saw that cat and neighbor thread and have no idea what is going on. So the butt-lick that made the remark looks like pure driven snow, and you look like an ass for going off. Yet you are right to go off……but no one knows it because the sneaky and conniving rule skater knows how to play it just so to get their jabs in without breaking rules while also coming out looking “innocent” to members that never saw the old threads.
Slippery, slippery slope.
Best to report the post (and fully explain your POV and even your feelings – Mods have feelings too!!) and ignore the ass. Worst comes to worst, use the User CP and put that member on ignore and you’ll never have to see them again.
People are smart, and they know how to skirt the rules; but they also know how to say things to get to you and hurt you without actually breaking a rule.
Say you make a post about how you accidentally ran over the neighbor’s cat, and you feel horrible about it. It’s personal.
Then a few month’s later you’re in a thread and post something about an idiot in traffic that didn’t pay attention cause they were on their cell phone and they ran you off the road. You nearly cracked your car in the ditch over this, you’re scared and mad.
BUT….this little twerp comes along and says something like “Yeah, I agree, there are too many idiots that don’t pay attention when they are driving and everything from small cats to human beings pay the price”.
HAH! No rules broken.
Not one forum rule.
But they just slammed the heck out of you, and YOU know it, and anyone that ever read and remembers that thread about you and the neighbor’s cat knows it.
Now you’re pissed, and you go off…….yet, there are 20 other members on the board that never saw that cat and neighbor thread and have no idea what is going on. So the butt-lick that made the remark looks like pure driven snow, and you look like an ass for going off. Yet you are right to go off……but no one knows it because the sneaky and conniving rule skater knows how to play it just so to get their jabs in without breaking rules while also coming out looking “innocent” to members that never saw the old threads.
Slippery, slippery slope.
Best to report the post (and fully explain your POV and even your feelings – Mods have feelings too!!) and ignore the ass. Worst comes to worst, use the User CP and put that member on ignore and you’ll never have to see them again.
hehe
Memories.......... like the corners of my miiiiiiiiiiind.
Yeah, I know what/who you're talking about
--not related to this board
1.As for myself, I am smarter and see this shit on almost every forum.
2.I am well aware of the sneaky AND conniving.
3.I have helped a few fall over that slippery slope.
Just takes a little patience and the right timing.
Well when it came to the dynamic duo getting kicked to the curb, then we had peace.
Honest to God, it's really difficult when you have two members that are related going at you all the time. Not to mention some who are a bit cliquey and running around a forum saying one thing, then doing another.
Those are the wth moments, then you have no idea where you stand.
It's best to just be who you are. If people don't like to hear the truth, then tough.
When it comes to being a drama queen or king, ohhhhh feel sorry for me!
Ohhh I hate this, I hate that.. people posting sneaky shit that they think no one else can even have an ounce of brain to figure out, wellll that just amuses me.
I miss a lot, but not much.
Biskit
New member
These are all good observations and sound advice for dealing with an issue. Especially the "Report This Post" button. I didn't realize for a long time that this button is a very good communication tool with the mods. You can always PM an individual mod, but when you report a post - you make all the mods and Doc aware of the situation. This is good because we are all here at different times and also because there will be more heads together to resolve your issue. Also, that button isn't just for an obvious and clear cut violation of forum policy. You can also help make us aware of potential problems before they escalate and feelings get hurt.
The ignore button is a good tool, too. If there is someone that is just irritating to you, the ignore button can work wonders to make your forum time more pleasant.
Also, it's good to remember that we don't have facial expressions, inflection, or tone of voice to help make our meaning clear in a post. Sometimes, we write something and never realize it could be taken 2 ways. Or perhaps we've had a rough day and our car broke and the dishwasher overflowed and the kid wet his pants for the third time that day and so we may be a little curt in a post (without meaning to be). When I come across a post that seems a little nasty or unkind, I force myself to try and consider that they may be having a bad day. Because even if they aren't, it still makes me feel better.
Here's one more thought. If you have inadvertently offended someone, or even if someone has taken offense for no apparent reason at something you have posted, a simple, sincere apology can make all the difference. You don't have to be wrong to apologize to someone. An apology can just express regret that someone felt badly about something you wrote because that was not your intent. (I hope that doesn't sound like I am preaching - it's just something that works well for me.)
Thank you for starting this thread, Love2"Q". It's a great discussion!
The ignore button is a good tool, too. If there is someone that is just irritating to you, the ignore button can work wonders to make your forum time more pleasant.
Also, it's good to remember that we don't have facial expressions, inflection, or tone of voice to help make our meaning clear in a post. Sometimes, we write something and never realize it could be taken 2 ways. Or perhaps we've had a rough day and our car broke and the dishwasher overflowed and the kid wet his pants for the third time that day and so we may be a little curt in a post (without meaning to be). When I come across a post that seems a little nasty or unkind, I force myself to try and consider that they may be having a bad day. Because even if they aren't, it still makes me feel better.
Here's one more thought. If you have inadvertently offended someone, or even if someone has taken offense for no apparent reason at something you have posted, a simple, sincere apology can make all the difference. You don't have to be wrong to apologize to someone. An apology can just express regret that someone felt badly about something you wrote because that was not your intent. (I hope that doesn't sound like I am preaching - it's just something that works well for me.)
Thank you for starting this thread, Love2"Q". It's a great discussion!
Fisher's Mom said:
In my opinion, this is the biggest problem creator on the WEB. Keltin's points are dead on and I have seen this done on purpose. I have often seen one person's choice of words be interpreted by another in a completely different and unintended way due to the lack of expression.
Another vote for the report post button. It gets action. If is is a sensative matter than a PM to a particular moderator is also good.
High Cheese
Saucier
OMG! This is too funny, Andy! Your choice of words reminded me of a perfect example. On another site, a fairly new member posted some very good information. I posted after him, saying he was dead on. Well, I got a blistering PM from him telling me he was not banned, only warned, and that I was a total B for saying that. I didn't know what he was talking about until I realized that when I said he was dead on, he thought I mean he was dead on the site - ie: banned. Apparently he'd had a misunderstanding with another member and had been warned so he was hyper-sensitive. I had no idea about that. And also, he was Canadian so that phrase wasn't common there. I PMd him apologizing profusely and explaining the phrase. Poor guy felt awful. But thankfully, he had PMd me rather than reacting on the board so we could straighten it out and nobody was the wiser.
Whoa!!! That worked?? Ok, HEY LEFTY, I got $1000 too....ready to be discrete again????
A lot of good info from some forum pros in this thread. 
The "Report post" button is the best / quickest way to get my attention. If it is about a PM or something else feel free to PM myself or the mod of your choice. You will get a response, but it will take longer.
The worst thing you can do is respond while you are angry in public. That will complicate the problem and rarely brings about the desired / intended result.
The "Report post" button is the best / quickest way to get my attention. If it is about a PM or something else feel free to PM myself or the mod of your choice. You will get a response, but it will take longer.
The worst thing you can do is respond while you are angry in public. That will complicate the problem and rarely brings about the desired / intended result.
Bilby
New member
When someone put up a post that I found offensive, I PM-d them to lodge my complaint. Got a half-hearted response apologising that I had taken offense but at the same time stood by the comments made to me (via the thread)... so not really apologising at all! As it was a mod, reporting the post would have done no good at all, so I just avoided any thread that she started and ignored her posts.
Don't see any real point in reporting posts unless they are truly offensive or the poster is a serial offender. Life's too short to worry about one-off posts.
And there is always the idiot factor that you have to apply in life. Forums are no different but it is easier to ignore the idiots!!!
Don't see any real point in reporting posts unless they are truly offensive or the poster is a serial offender. Life's too short to worry about one-off posts.
And there is always the idiot factor that you have to apply in life. Forums are no different but it is easier to ignore the idiots!!!
buckytom
Grill Master
YOU LIE!!!!!!!
lol, j/k, k.
i was just practicing for my trip to south carolina.
i guess i'm one of the twerps who skirt rules and make jokes by bringing up things from the past. using emoticons hopefully helps describe THAT IT"S A JOKE, but if someone's high strung - or just having a bad day, or whatever, they tend to get their panties in a bunch.
then they get drunk and aren't able to watch their neighbor's kids when they'd promised, and all hell breaks loose...
heheeeeee.
i think the key is to not be so quick to get angry and want to retalliate. why get angry at all? it's just someone else's opinion. therefore, the more modest method of reporting a post is the best way to go.
i have to say that this by far and away the best moderated website that i've ever had the honor of skirting it's rules.
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YOU LIE!!!!!!!
lol, j/k, k.
i was just practicing for my trip to south carolina.
i guess i'm one of the twerps who skirt rules and make jokes by bringing up things from the past. using emoticons hopefully helps describe THAT IT"S A JOKE, but if someone's high strung - or just having a bad day, or whatever, they tend to get their panties in a bunch.
then they get drunk and aren't able to watch their neighbor's kids when they'd promised, and all hell breaks loose...
heheeeeee.
i think the key is to not be so quick to get angry and want to retalliate. why get angry at all? it's just someone else's opinion. therefore, the more modest method of reporting a post is the best way to go.
i have to say that this by far and away the best moderated website that i've ever had the honor of skirting it's rules.
