Computers according to Abbott & Costello

buzzard767

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You have to be old enough to remember comedians Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A
COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT:

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help
you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm
setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO:
No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a
computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's
Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get
stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do
you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What
will I see when I look in the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the
windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for
Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On
the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and
run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office.
Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did
what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something..

COSTELLO: You recommended
something?

ABBOTT:
Yes.

COSTELLO: For my
office?


ABBOTT:
Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT:
Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with
Windows.

COSTELLO: I
already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my
computer and I want to type a proposal . What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO:
What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office..

COSTELLO: The only word in
office is office.

ABBOTT:
The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office
for windows?

ABBOTT: The
Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click
your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about
financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO:
That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need
money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with
your computer.

COSTELLO:
What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money
comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra
charge.





COSTELLO:
I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One
copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a
license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a
license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer
store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my
computer off?

ABBOTT:
Click on "START"..............
 
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